The most powerful creative transformations often begin in the darkest moments. For composer and arranger Matthew Goinz, that moment came staring at an empty whiskey glass in a bar, realizing his drinking had silenced the very voice that defined his identity—his ability to sing.
What followed wasn't just recovery; it was a complete artistic rebirth. From failing out of college twice to performing at Carnegie Hall and Lincoln Center, Matthew's 17-year sobriety journey reveals how clearing the mind doesn't diminish creativity—it unleashes it. His story demonstrates that the clarity we seek through substances already exists within us, waiting to be discovered through presence, not escape.
Show Notes
[00:00] - Breaking the Creative Culture Norm
Discussion of how sobriety breaks the ingrained cycle of celebration and commiseration through alcohol in creative industries
The unexpected connections that form when sober creatives find each other
Challenge of navigating performance culture and nightlife without substances
[05:00] - The Downward Spiral Years
Started drinking in college despite being "well-behaved" in high school
Failed out of Concordia College twice due to alcohol-fueled poor decisions
Restaurant industry amplified drinking problem exponentially
Multiple dangerous driving incidents, including wrong-way driving on divided highway
[13:00] - The Epiphany That Almost Wasn't
Moment of clarity staring at empty whiskey glass: "Something's got to change"
First attempt at sobriety lasted 8 months until choir trip to UK
Key insight: "Just quit. Don't say you're going to do this one more time and then quit. Just quit."
[16:00] - The Final Wake-Up Call
August 7th, 2008: Couldn't sing during Music Man rehearsal after drinking until 4 AM
Career vs. alcohol moment: "If I want a career, I can't do this anymore"
Blew 0.21 BAC (nearly three times legal limit) but "didn't feel that drunk"—revealing extent of tolerance
[21:00] - The Academic Transformation
Immediate grade improvement from 1.0 GPA to President's List after quitting drinking
Lost 25 pounds in first month of sobriety
[26:00] - Uncovering the Root Causes
Recent therapy work revealed drinking was masking anxiety, depression, and need for validation
Childhood divorce created pattern of seeking father's approval
Replaced alcohol with emotional walls until marriage crisis forced deeper healing
[31:00] - Creative Renaissance Through Sobriety
Shift from purely performative work to original arranging and orchestration
Recent success with first major orchestration project receiving professional validation
[34:00] - Overcoming Creative Perfectionism
Working through fear of releasing original compositions
Learning that not pleasing everyone is actually freedom
Key Quotes
"If I want a career, I can't do this anymore." - Matthew Goinz
"I went to class and I did the work...literally just because I showed up. We're not talking Yale or Princeton—just because I quit drinking." - Matthew Goinz
"I did what I would want to hear. I didn't do what I thought she wanted...I did what I would want to hear in this specific song." - Matthew Goinz
"People latch on to that if it comes from your brain and your heart and you're not trying to be someone else, musically, artistically." - Matthew Goinz
Resources Mentioned
Concordia College (Moorhead, Minnesota) - Where Matthew studied with renowned choral composer René Clausen
Mad Gallica - Rock artist Matthew collaborates with as music director and arranger
"Enter the Vortex" - Mad Gallica's debut EP featuring Matthew's arrangements
Therapy - Matthew emphasizes therapy as an essential tool for processing underlying issues that led to drinking
Where to Find Matthew
Instagram: @matthew.goins
Websites: matthewgoinz.com • mt-tracks.com
Current Work: Music Director/Arranger for Mad Gallica
Upcoming: Fall tour with Mad Gallica (dates TBA)
Your Next Step Into Clarity
Matthew’s story reveals a profound truth: our creative gifts don’t vanish when we get sober—they finally have the space to expand.
If you’re a creative professional sensing that alcohol might be limiting your potential—even just a little—you’re not alone. That quiet question you’ve been carrying? It’s often the beginning of your greatest work.
The Sober Creative Method™ is a 90-day 1:1 journey designed for professionals ready to remove alcohol as the barrier to their full creative capacity. Together, we’ll navigate the practical tools and emotional landscape of creating from a place of clarity, just like Matthew did.
🔍 Curious if this path is right for you?
Because the work you’re meant to create is on the other side of clear.
Thank You
A heartfelt thank you to Matthew Goinz for his extraordinary vulnerability and wisdom in sharing his journey. And to everyone who joined us live—your presence makes these conversations possible and creates the community that supports transformation.
What’s Next
The Sober Creative is more than a newsletter—it’s a movement of professionals reclaiming their creativity by choosing clarity over coping.
✍️ Read the Essays: Stories and strategies for building a clear, creative, and intentional life
🎙️ Join Clear Conversations: Honest talks with creative professionals navigating the intersection of sobriety, self-discovery, and breakthrough work.
💬 Curious about your next step? If you’re sensing that something’s holding you back, but you’re not sure what—reach out. Coaching, community, or clarity—it all starts with a conversation.
✨ The Sober Creative Method™ is a 90-day journey to remove alcohol as the barrier to your greatest work.
Each step forward is an act of becoming who you’re meant to be.
Thanks for walking this path with me.
Josh
