What if the thing you’ve been using to take the edge off is actually keeping you from the life you’re meant to live?
This week on Clear Conversations, I sat down with Tyler Donohue, the writer behind Girl Resting, for a conversation that challenges everything we’ve been told about creativity, confidence, and what it means to live authentically. Tyler’s journey from social drinker to nearly two years sober wasn’t sparked by crisis or catastrophe—it was driven by something quieter and more powerful: an inner voice that wouldn’t stop whispering, “This isn’t quite right for you.”
What unfolded in our conversation was a masterclass in listening to your body’s signals, the relationship between sobriety and embodiment, and why removing alcohol doesn’t shrink your life—it expands it. Tyler’s insights on creativity, self-trust, and building a life that’s entirely your own idea will challenge you to examine what you’re really afraid of losing if you stopped numbing the edges.
Show Notes
[02:01] The Inner Voice That Started Everything
Tyler shares how her sobriety journey began not with rock bottom, but with flickers of intuition starting at age 25-26 that something about drinking didn’t resonate in her body.
She describes her drinking as “normal”—social, recreational, never causing obvious life destruction
The turning point came in late 2023 when two family members struggled with severe alcohol addiction
Seeing their crisis gave her permission to honor her own inner voice, even without the dramatic markers of addiction
Key insight: “It doesn’t matter that you’re not in rehab. It doesn’t matter that you’re not getting DUIs. Something about doing this thing does not resonate inside your body.”
[05:22] The “Fuck Yes or Fuck No” Clarity
Tyler explains how sobriety eliminated the in-between spaces in her life and gave her radical clarity about where she wants to be and who she wants to be with.
Sobriety revealed which social situations she only enjoyed because of alcohol
She now operates on a binary: if it’s not a “fuck yes,” it’s a “fuck no”
The shift: “I don’t stay at a party I don’t want to be at. I don’t go to events that don’t lift me up and give me energy.”
Her life got bigger, not smaller, because she stopped forcing herself into spaces that didn’t serve her
[07:02] What Sobriety Revealed About Stress and Numbing
In the early months, Tyler became acutely aware of the moments when she used to “take the edge off”—and what those edges were trying to tell her.
Removing alcohol exposed the stressors, anxieties, and uncomfortable truths she’d been avoiding
The first six months were about sitting with discomfort rather than numbing it
This led to major life changes: ending a long-term relationship, reevaluating her career, and eventually living nomadically
Tyler’s realization: “Sobriety wasn’t the hard part. It was seeing clearly what I had been avoiding.”
[15:43] Writing as a Way to Process the Unraveling
Tyler discusses how her writing practice became essential for making sense of the massive transformations happening in her life.
Writing helped her metabolize the grief, confusion, and liberation of leaving her old life behind
Her essay “It Mixes Well with Pheromones” captures a pivotal moment one year into sobriety
She writes to understand her own experience—and discovers readers resonate deeply with the honesty
On vulnerability: “I’m just trying to be as honest as I can about what it feels like to be alive right now.”
[19:28] When the Body Remembers—and Forgets
Tyler reflects on how her body held the memory of her most difficult year, even as her mind tried to move on.
Anniversary dates triggered physical responses before her conscious mind remembered them
The disconnection between “that body” (sick, struggling) and “this body” (traveling, thriving) felt surreal
Sobriety allowed her body to release what it had been holding
Powerful observation: “My body did remember. But my body has also—somehow—forgotten. Release.”
[22:51] Creativity Without the Myth of Chemical Enhancement
Tyler dismantles the persistent belief that substances enhance creativity, sharing how her creative output has only expanded in sobriety.
She’s more prolific now than when drinking—writing more, thinking more clearly, creating more boldly
Sobriety revealed that alcohol was never enhancing her creativity; it was just making her care less about the quality
The truth: “I think I was convinced for a long time that drinking made me more creative. But really it just lowered my standards.”
She now has the stamina and clarity for deep, sustained creative work
[30:43] From Performative Confidence to Embodied Self-Trust
Tyler describes the shift from the “self-conscious confidence” she had while drinking to the genuine embodiment she experiences now.
While drinking, she had confidence but was still posturing, wanting to be liked, performing
Now she’s willing to do the silly, embarrassing things—like being first on the dance floor—without needing liquid courage
The difference: “That confidence that I think I’ve had more innately from a young age has actually been able to bloom in a really beautiful way.”
Sobriety allowed her innate confidence to emerge without the performance
[34:17] The Summer It Got Hard—and What That Taught Her
Tyler shares candidly about experiencing the first real difficulty with sobriety after 18 months—and what she learned from it.
This past summer marked the first time not drinking felt actively difficult rather than just easy
Working through those moments gave her even more clarity about her commitment
She’s not attached to permanent labels or future predictions—just staying present
Her approach: “It’s so much more about just staying really present to the moment I’m in and having that discernment and listening to the signals of my own body.”
Key Quotes
“It doesn’t matter that you’re not in rehab. It doesn’t matter that you’re not getting DUIs. It doesn’t matter that you’re not like ruining your life. Something about doing this thing does not resonate inside your body.” - Tyler Donohue
“For me, it’s either a fuck yes or it’s a fuck no. Like it’s one or the other. I don’t stay at a party I don’t want to be at. I don’t go to events that don’t lift me up and give me energy.” - Tyler Donohue
“I think I was convinced for a long time that drinking made me more creative. But really it just lowered my standards.” - Tyler Donohue
“My body did remember. But my body has also—somehow—forgotten. Release.” - Tyler Donohue
“It’s so much more about just staying really present to the moment I’m in and having that discernment and listening to the signals of my own body.” - Tyler Donohue
Resources Mentioned
Girl Resting - Tyler’s Substack newsletter featuring essays on desire, creativity, relationships, and building a life that’s your own idea
“It Mixes Well with Pheromones” - Tyler’s essay about smell, memory, and the terrible intimacy of wanting more (available on Girl Resting)
The Cut - Where Tyler has been published by New York Magazine
Where to Find Tyler
Instagram: Follow Tyler for updates on upcoming magazine publications and more
Tyler is currently working on her first book—subscribe to her Substack to follow along with the journey.
If Tyler’s Story Resonated With You
Tyler’s journey illuminates something crucial: you don’t need to hit rock bottom to question your relationship with alcohol. Sometimes the most powerful signal is simply a persistent inner voice saying, “This isn’t quite right for me.”
If you’re sensing that alcohol might be dimming your creative edge, numbing your intuition, or keeping you from fully inhabiting your life, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
The Sober Creative Method™ is a 90-day journey designed specifically for creative professionals who are ready to remove alcohol as a barrier to their greatest work. It’s not about deprivation—it’s about expansion. It’s about discovering what happens when you stop performing and start living.
Inside the program, you’ll discover:
How to build unshakeable clarity around your relationship with alcohol
Tools for sitting with discomfort instead of numbing it
Strategies for navigating social situations without compromising your values
How to channel the energy you used to spend drinking into your most meaningful work
Tyler’s story shows us what becomes possible when we listen to our bodies and honor what they’re telling us. What might your life look like if you gave yourself permission to do the same?
Thank You
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who joined us live for this conversation, and to Tyler Donohue for her extraordinary honesty and wisdom. Your presence and engagement make these conversations possible.
What’s Next
The Sober Creative is more than a newsletter—it’s a movement of professionals reclaiming their creativity by choosing clarity over coping.
The 30-Day Alcohol-Free Reset starts on January 1st.
If you want to see what your creativity feels like without alcohol in the way, this is your moment.
Join the early list and I’ll notify you the second doors open.
🎯 Take the Clarity Quiz: This assessment reveals certain areas where alcohol may be the exact thing that is quietly sabotaging your creative potential. It’s free and only takes a few minutes.
✍️ Read the Essays: Stories and strategies for building a clear, creative, and intentional life.
🎙️ Join Clear Conversations: Honest talks with creative professionals navigating the intersection of sobriety, self-discovery, and breakthrough work.
💬 Curious about your next step? If you’re sensing that something’s holding you back, but you’re not sure what—reach out. Coaching, community, or clarity—it all starts with a conversation.
✨ The Sober Creative Method™ is a 90-day journey to remove alcohol as the barrier to your greatest work.
Each step forward is an act of becoming who you’re meant to be.
Thanks for walking this path with me.
Josh
P.S. Missed previous episodes? Browse the Clear Conversations archive to explore more conversations with creative minds in sobriety.
