What happens when the productivity warrior inside you finally surrenders? When chronic illness forces you to abandon every achievement strategy you’ve ever known? And what if that breaking point becomes the doorway to your most authentic creative work?
Cali Bird lived the high-achieving life for decades—accountant, investment banker, IT specialist, all while nurturing creative projects on the side. She was the ultimate pusher-througher, juggling a corporate career, aging parents, and a 20-year novel manuscript. It worked. Until it didn’t. Long COVID brought her to her knees in 2022, followed by her husband’s traumatic brain injury in 2023 that changed him completely. Through these losses, Cali discovered something revolutionary: the gentle path she was forced onto wasn’t a detour from her creative life—it was the road to it.
Today, as the voice behind Gentle Creative on Substack, Cali teaches what four decades of Buddhist practice and hard-won wisdom have shown her: that being gentle with yourself isn’t weakness or indulgence. It’s the foundation for sustainable creativity, authentic work, and a life that doesn’t require numbing to endure.
[03:42] Redefining Sobriety: From Pushing Through to Being Kind
Cali frames sobriety not as abstinence from substances, but as the practice of being kind to herself after years of relentless pushing.
She worked three days a week in corporate while coaching, writing, and caring for aging parents—constantly juggling and making it happen
This approach got her where she wanted to be, including completing her novel, but it also led to burnout and ultimately broke her health
Long COVID four years ago forced a complete shift: she can no longer push through, and pacing with rest has become non-negotiable
The gentle approach isn’t optional anymore—it’s the only sustainable path forward, and she doesn’t want to return to the old way
[05:37] Forty Years of Buddhist Practice: The Foundation That Held
Cali discovered Buddhism at 21 when starting her career as a trainee accountant, and it became her lifeline through decades of challenges.
After experiencing stress-related fatigue during her final year as a music student, she knew she needed something to support her naturally
Alternative therapies weren’t widespread in the 1980s, so finding a spiritual practice felt essential for long-term wellbeing
Buddhism came into her life almost accidentally—she stumbled upon it through housemates in London who practiced with SGI (Soka Gakkai International)
The practice gave her a framework for resilience that she’s relied on through long COVID, her husband’s injury, and ongoing creative work
[15:20] The Body That Kept Score: From Cursing to Praising
One of Cali’s most profound transformations has been her relationship with her body—moving from resentment to reverence.
For years, she cursed her body for “letting her down” with chronic fatigue and limitations
Through her health crisis, she came to recognize her body as an ally that was trying to protect her, not betray her
She now praises her body daily for everything it does—for healing, for functioning, for getting her through each day
This shift from antagonism to appreciation has been central to her recovery and her ability to continue creative work
[20:45] Granny Oak and the Messages from Trees
Cali has developed an unusual but deeply meaningful practice of receiving guidance from her favorite tree, which she shares with her community.
She visits an ancient oak tree regularly and receives what she describes as messages or guidance
These messages become part of her Substack content, offering wisdom to her readers
She’s even discussed this practice on a live call with a qualified forestry professional, exploring the intersection of nature connection and intuition
This practice represents her willingness to lean into her authentic self, even when it might seem unconventional to others
[28:30] The Possessed Novelist: Twenty Years and Talking Handbags
Cali’s creative journey with her novel trilogy shows what gentle persistence looks like over decades.
Her first novel, “Tales of the Countess,” took 20 years to complete—it sat in a drawer for nine of those years
The quirky romantic comedy features talking handbags and explores the journey of becoming happy in yourself before finding love
She’s now working on books two and three of the trilogy, both in second or third draft stage
Despite long COVID and her husband’s injury, she’s remained “possessed” by these novels, working on them even when she could only manage 20-30 minutes a day
[34:00] Gentle Productivity: Two Hours That Matter
Cali’s current creative practice defies every productivity guru’s playbook—and it works.
Even without juggling a day job anymore, she still only has about two to two-and-a-half productive hours per day for her novel work
Working on her novel for even 20-30 minutes makes her happy and feels grounding—she smiles just talking about it
She’s learned to work in the ways her body allows, parking projects when needed but always returning to them
Her Substack has continued throughout long COVID because she’s found a sustainable rhythm that honors her limitations
[36:30] Writing Your Truth: From How-To to Just How It Was
Cali’s writing has evolved from prescriptive teaching to simply sharing her lived experience.
She used to write more “how-to” content, spelling out lessons and takeaways for readers
In recent months, she’s shifted to essay-style writing that simply describes how things were for her
She trusts readers to find their own teaching moments without her underlining them
This evolution reflects her deeper acceptance of her authentic voice and trust in her audience to take what they need
Key Quotes
“I have to be gentle because there is no other option. And I don’t want to push through like I used to. It broke me. I don’t regret it. It got me to where I am. But it’s not going to get me forward.” - Cali Bird
“For years, I’ve cursed my body for letting me down. And now I praise it. I praise it for what it does, for healing, for getting through things.” - Cali Bird
“Life has to be joy. It has to work holistically for me.” - Cali Bird
“Even in my inhibited state, I have still been able to work on them. And it’s just so joyful. I’m smiling as I talk to you about it.” - Cali Bird
“We all find our own people and our own tribes, don’t we? This message is perfect for some people—just what they need to hear. And for other people, I’m not for them. That’s fine.” - Cali Bird
Resources Mentioned
SGI (Soka Gakkai International) - The Buddhist organization Cali has practiced with for 40 years
Gentle Creative - Cali’s Substack newsletter on radical self-gentleness
Tales of the Countess - Cali’s debut novel featuring talking handbags (available on Amazon and other book retailers)
Where to Find Cali Bird
Website: gentlecreative.com
Book: Tales of the Countess by Cali Bird (available wherever books are sold)
Coaching: Information available at gentlecreative.com
Your Next Step: The Gentle Revolution Meets Intentional Transformation
If Cali’s story resonates with you—if you’re tired of pushing through, numbing out, or wondering why your creative work feels like it’s happening despite you rather than because of you—there’s a path forward.
The Sober Creative Method™ is a 90-day journey designed for creative professionals who are ready to remove alcohol as the barrier to their greatest work. This isn’t about white-knuckling through cravings or feeling deprived. It’s about discovering what Cali found: that gentleness, clarity, and sustainable creativity are possible when you stop using substances to cope with the pressure you’re putting on yourself.
The method combines:
Personalized coaching to address your unique creative blocks
Community support from others walking the same path
Practical strategies for building a clear, creative, and intentional life
You don’t have to wait for a health crisis to give yourself permission to live differently. You can choose gentleness now. You can choose clarity now. You can choose to become the creator you’re meant to be—not despite your limitations, but because you finally honor them.
Ready to explore what’s possible? Unlock Your Creative Potential
Thank You
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who joined us live for this conversation, and to Cali Bird for her extraordinary wisdom and vulnerability. Your presence and engagement make these conversations possible.
What’s Next
The Sober Creative is more than a newsletter—it’s a movement of professionals reclaiming their creativity by choosing clarity over coping.
🎯 Take the Clarity Quiz: This assessment reveals certain patterns where alcohol may be the exact thing that is quietly sabotaging your creative potential. It’s free and only takes a few minutes.
✍️ Read the Essays: Stories and strategies for building a clear, creative, and intentional life.
🎙️ Join Clear Conversations: Honest talks with creative professionals navigating the intersection of sobriety, self-discovery, and breakthrough work.
💬 Curious about your next step? If you’re sensing that something’s holding you back, but you’re not sure what—reach out. Coaching, community, or clarity—it all starts with a conversation.
✨ The Sober Creative Method™ is a 90-day journey to remove alcohol as the barrier to your greatest work.
Each step forward is an act of becoming who you’re meant to be.
Thanks for walking this path with me.
Josh
P.S. Missed previous episodes? Browse the Clear Conversations archive to explore more conversations with creative minds in sobriety.
