Week 1: Persistent Anxiety in Sobriety
How to Stay Sober When the Uncomfortable Feelings Won't Stop
10 Pain Points of Sobriety is a weekly series where I explore the real pain points of quitting alcohol—the uncomfortable truths that surface when initial motivation fades. I didn’t need alcohol to be creative; creativity was already part of my life. Alcohol stole the time and energy I could have spent creating. It was my escape from feelings of inadequacy, from not being good enough, from trying to fit in. Five years into sobriety, I’ve learned that removing alcohol isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of becoming who you’re meant to be. Each week covers one pain point: the struggle, the truth no one mentions, and what actually helps.
The Pain
You sit down to work, and the anxiety hits. Not about the project—about everything else. Your mind spirals: money, deadlines, whether you’re doing enough. You used to have a glass of wine to settle this feeling. Now, in sobriety, you have to find another way.
What do you do when you have thoughts come up that make you feel anxious?
Anxiety takes shape in many forms. It can happen in your body. It can happen in your mind. It can feel, at times, too intense to be with, especially when you stop drinking.
In your body, you may experience: shakes, jitters, tingles, itching
In your mind, you may experience: fear, anger, uncertainty, insecurity
It’s common for anxiety to be heightened during the first few weeks of sobriety because your whole nervous system is adjusting without having the crutch of alcohol.
You may experience being frustrated by your anxiety and want to get rid it. The key here is to work with it in a gentle way, to understand this is a process of change.
Because here’s what’s at stake: staying sober. Unmanaged anxiety in early sobriety can pull you back toward the bottle. It can convince you that sobriety is too hard, that you can’t handle these feelings, that one drink will make it all easier. But if you do the work, your nervous system will adapt and you will find more strength and comfort in sobriety—and protect the creative life you’re building.
I want to point out that with each of these pain points, the answers come from self-exploration. You have your own unique makeup, history, experiences, and habits that contribute to the desire to drink. What may work for you may not work for someone else. Adopting a state of curiosity, being willing to experiment, to practice, and ultimately commit to the process, will lead you more closely to the changes you wish to seek.
The Story
Focused mornings fading into anxious evenings is something I still experience, even years into sobriety. The day starts strong, and I’m ready to get after it. Fresh, energized. As the day progresses, the meter starts to drop, and near the end of the day, I can notice anxiety creep in around wanting to do more. Or having thought about something in my past or what will happen in the future. Almost all anxiety is maintained or amplified by our thoughts—even if it begins as a physical or emotional response.
When I stopped drinking, I still had to face the periods when I didn’t have any projects booked. Running a freelance creative business is challenging because you don’t know when the next job is going to come. You can have lots of clients, but depending on when they need content, you are at the mercy of when they are ready. This can leave some months with only one or two small paying jobs. The anxiety at the end of the day was persistent because not having work amplified the thought that I wasn’t doing enough. When I was drinking, alcohol would relieve those symptoms instantly. In sobriety, I had to find new ways to be with this anxiety—to use this energy rather than numb it, or risk slipping back into old patterns.
The Shift
Anxiety didn’t disappear when I embraced sobriety. It was actually stronger to start off with because alcohol was the mechanism that would provide instant relief to the anxiety. Take that away and what do you have? More fucks. Not the happy ones.
I made a commitment to myself: one year without alcohol. No matter what. It wasn’t negotiable, which meant I had to find another way to manage the anxiety that used to send me straight to the bottom of the bottle. Through my therapy work, I was introduced to mindfulness and meditation.
Meditation is one of these practices where it’s easy to fall into the trap of “I don’t have time.” We want instant results. Because you’re not seeing results quickly, it’s easy not to make it a priority. It was really hard at first because I had to learn to sit in stillness, to be with my thoughts that were amplifying my anxiety. The first few sessions were brutal—five minutes felt like an hour. My mind raced. My body fidgeted. Every uncomfortable feeling I’d been numbing for years demanded attention. I wanted to quit.
But I kept showing up. I started my practice using Headspace and it was really helpful to have a guide, a voice helping me navigate those early sessions.
Through consistent practice, even a few minutes daily, I started to notice things were shifting. My anxiety lessened. My body was simultaneously healing from years of alcohol use along with my meditation practice, providing a sense of safety.
The troubling thoughts that would have strengthened my anxiety, I learned I could be with them instead of trying to change them.
The Science
Through my meditation practice, I started noticing something: when my breath was shallow and fast, my anxiety spiked. When I slowed it down, the anxiety eased. This wasn’t just in my head—there’s actual science behind it.
Studies have shown how breathing can lessen the intensity of anxiety—”Effective breathing interventions support greater parasympathetic tone, which can counterbalance the high sympathetic activity intrinsic to stress and anxiety.” —National Library of Medicine
Deep breathing puts you into a parasympathetic state. When you feel calm, when you feel all is right in the world—this is that state of being. It’s the opposite of fight-or-flight. It’s where your nervous system can finally relax.
Breathing is simple, but building an intentional habit around it takes consistent practice. Managing persistent anxiety requires showing up daily with these breathing and meditation practices. The more you do it, the less persistent the anxiety becomes.
The Practice
When anxiety hits, this is your moment. Stop what you’re doing and set a timer for 3 minutes. Find a place to sit. You can close your eyes or keep them softly focused on a spot in front of you.
Breathe deeply. Deep inhale in, hold for a few seconds, deep exhale out, hold for a few seconds. Keep repeating. Feel your body expanding with the inhalation, feel the release as you slowly exhale.
Three minutes will go by quickly. This will roughly be around 20 to 23 breaths. You are training your nervous system with each breath, and it takes time to notice the changes taking shape.
Anxiety will still appear—that’s normal. But over time, with consistent practice, you’ll notice it doesn’t hit as hard. The intensity lessens. The duration shortens. You start to trust that you can handle it without reaching for a drink.
This is how you build a new relationship with anxiety in sobriety. One breath at a time.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Every week, I’ll be tackling one pain point of sobriety—the real struggles no one talks about until you’re in it.
Next week: The Relapse Cycle (and how to actually break it)
Right now, you have two options:
1. Take the assessment: Find out if alcohol is blocking your creative potential (free, 5 minutes)
2. Book a call with me: Let’s figure out your next move
Everything else—the essays, the podcast, the guided meditations—it’s all here when you’re ready. But start with one of those two.
And…it gets better the longer you’re sober if you work at it.
❤️ I so appreciate you making this series, I'm looking forward to reading it every Friday, thank you so much Josh Wall!!!