From Numb to Clear: Becoming Who I’m Meant to Be Without Alcohol (Part 3 of 3)
Living in alignment has provided the clarity that continues to fuel my creative fire.
Brilliant ideas. Burnout cycles. Work that never sees the light. Is alcohol quietly sabotaging your creative potential? Take the quiz and find out.
I truly believe sobriety is life unfiltered.
After I committed to one year of abstinence from alcohol, nearly 3 months in I realized it was not going to be a part of my life. Almost five years later, I feel very certain of that. Rest in peace alcohol.
Having gone through this experience knowing what it does and the harmful effects around it, there's no reason to have it in my life.
Alcohol was embedded as part of my identity because it allowed me to escape. It was the addition that became addiction. Feelings of not being good enough, feelings of shame, doubt, uncertainty, and depression. I was scared of these feelings because I didn't know how to be with them. Alcohol made it so I didn’t have to. There was a hidden toll I couldn’t see and it kept stacking up. I became so tired of how I was living, so tired of questioning everything, I had to take the leap and trust my life would become better by releasing it.
This was the catalyst to begin the healing process. It gave me space to observe the patterns and areas of my life that needed attention. Letting go of alcohol didn’t mean everything else was resolved. It meant I was finally able to face the deeper struggles I had been avoiding. Alcohol wouldn’t even allow me to recognize there was something beneath the surface. But now, I can face these parts of myself directly, rather than hiding from them.
Having worked with various coaches over the years, I found immense benefit to this process. I’ve learned so much and I’m incredibly grateful for all of them. One in particular showed me how to change my relationship with discipline and this specific commitment has influenced many areas of my life around meditation, nutrition, exercise, and rest.
I viewed discipline as something that was hard. I was unable to stick with. I had intense resistance. I said no thank you. But discipline showed me so much more. When I stuck with it, momentum started to build in ways I hadn't expected. Think about it, every successful athlete, business owner, musician, or creative, discipline is built into the foundation of their being. Discipline is the consistent practice of the same thing. It’s structure. It’s support. It’s results. When I’ve become disciplined in one area of my life, it spills into others and enhances those too. It didn’t start with this overwhelming task to do it all at once, it started with one breath, one step, one rep and I found a rhythm to repeat that. Even on the days I didn’t want to because I knew I had to.
I've learned to become aware of and release patterns of shame, judgement, fear, and overwhelm. I released the belief that alcohol was necessary to my life. I released the shame around needing substances to feel confident and the overwhelm of thinking I had to change everything at once. Judging myself through the process of highs and lows wouldn’t move me closer to the life I wanted so that needed to be released too.
Releasing allowed me to create new practices, beliefs, trust, rhythms, and momentum. I created daily meditation and fitness routines that gave me natural energy and clarity. I created new beliefs around what was possible without substances. I created trust in my ability to handle discomfort and uncertainty. I created a rhythm of showing up consistently, which built momentum toward the life I actually wanted.
Through these practices I’ve become more confident, grateful, and authentic. I’ve become someone who shows up fully for myself. I’ve become grateful for the clarity that comes with sobriety. What I create now comes from a more authentic place.
This framework allowed me to see the before and after. There would be so many days and instances where a comment, an action, something so minor would derail me for the entire day. Being criticized or stuck in traffic, alcohol would be the comfort, the answer. Now, most of my days are not phased by these similar occurrences. I choose to feel into the emotion of being upset or sad or disappointed. This may last a few minutes or a few hours. The difference is, I’m not stuck. I'm not holding on. I'm not escaping.
Life unfiltered is the ability to move through life embracing the joys and the struggles while being fully present. It’s raw. At times it’s easy. At times it’s hard. I wasn’t born an alcoholic, I wasn’t born an addict. I didn’t have those labels. They were slapped on throughout my journey. What I've learned is that these are descriptions of behaviors, not declarations of identity. I was able to peel them off.
Being lost was a part of the process. The struggle is part of the process. The focus isn’t the end. The focus is the path.
A life unfiltered is my path and becoming myself is the solution.
What's Next
The Sober Creative is more than a newsletter—it's a movement of professionals reclaiming their creativity by choosing clarity over compromise.
✍️ Read the Essays: Stories and strategies for building a clear, creative, and intentional life.
🎙️ Join Clear Conversations: Honest talks with creative professionals navigating the intersection of sobriety, self-discovery, and breakthrough work.
💡Discover Your Creative Pattern: Take the free 5-minute quiz to reveal how alcohol may be blocking, draining, or hiding your creative potential.
💬 Curious about your next step? If you're sensing that something's holding you back, but you're not sure what—reach out. Coaching, community, or clarity—it all starts with a conversation.
