Weekly Insight
A lot of sobriety is waiting.
Waiting for the craving to pass. Waiting for sleep to come back. Waiting for your mornings, your mood, your energy. Waiting for the people around you to believe it. Waiting for the work you used to make to return, and for the version of you who makes it.
Most of that waiting shows no progress. This week looks like last week, and the effort is real while the proof is slow. That is where many people quit.
Patience in this context is something you do. You decide not to drink today, and you decide it again when nothing seems to have changed. The decisions stack up even when you can’t see them stacking. Hangovers go away with abstinence, and abstinence holds with patience.
I’m six years in. Early on I’d sit through a quiet evening waiting for something to arrive. Now those evenings are where most of my life gets built.
I’ll have all of my tasks done for the day and some days I sit with that time wondering what to do. It’s a practice of being okay with not having anything to do. And being content in that space.
This week, pick one thing you’re waiting on. Write down the one thing you can do about it today, do that, and let the rest take the time it takes.
Six years in, and patience is still a daily practice.
Podcast
Parker Gates was about 13 the first time he got properly drunk, in a field in Waco, Texas, with his two best friends. He went home thinking he wanted to feel that way for the rest of his life. He was in rehab at 15, stayed dry for six and a half years, then picked up again at 21. He got sober at 27 after DUIs cost him his license and his corporate job. Next week he hits 25 years.
Parker told me the things he held back from his first sponsor had little to do with drinking, and he thinks that silence played a big part in his relapse. After sponsoring men for about 25 years, he sees the same pattern every time: there is one thing a person is embarrassed about and wants to keep to themselves.
When he started leading people, the steps and traditions were the only framework he had, so he used them. Today he coaches CEOs and senior leaders, teaches at Stanford’s d.school, and is finishing a book called Personal Development as Professional Development. We also got into creativity, and he told me the Nick Cave story he asked me not to let him forget.
“Personal development is professional development.” — Parker Gates
You can listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts as well.
Who I’m Celebrating
Greg Downs joined me recently for episode 073, and this week he revealed the cover and release date for 12 Steps to Financial Sobriety. Preorders are open, and the book comes out February 2, 2027, right after Dry January.
The cover is a cracked credit card, inspired by kintsugi, the Japanese practice of repairing broken pottery with gold. The cracks stay visible and become the best part of the piece. Greg says that is what recovery looks like, whether it’s alcohol or money.
Preorders count toward launch week, which is what gets bookstores, libraries, and bestseller lists to pay attention.
If you plan to read it, ordering now helps more than ordering in February. Greg’s announcement. Congratulations, Greg!
News from the Collective
On this week’s Collective call, the session was on creating. I gave a live demonstration of an idea I had for a macro photography portrait, then posted one photo on Notes and asked what it was.
I used my iphone with the flashlight to shine light through the glass so yes, what you see above is the setup. Black peppercorns submerged in water. Bubbles look so wild!
One person guessed: Be Bare. Be Bold. Be Brave. said honey. You didn’t guess it correctly, but since you guessed, I still would like to send you a copy of Greg Downs’ book. Send me a DM if you are interested.
This came out of a practice from the Sober Creative Collective, a group I run that meets live twice a month.
If you would like to join us, there are some spots available.
P.S. My workout app told me I lifted 69 alpacas. That’s 10,340 pounds, three new personal bests, and apparently an alpaca weighs 150 pounds on average. I’m choosing to believe it.
Reps in the gym, reps at the computer, one alpaca at a time. Same as everything else in this issue.
If you need a laugh, click below: